


Recovery

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-31
Updated: 2005-12-31
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse.





	1. Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd 

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

**Chapter 1**

"Your mom will be fine." 

Jed was smiling and crying at the same time. He had just come from the ICU where Abbey had responded to his touch and voice and the doctors were optimistic about her physical recovery. 

"How can you be sure, Dad?" Always questioning, Ellie had different feelings. 

"Dad, how do you know that? Yeah, maybe physically she'll recover from the stroke but what about her substance abuse? How do you know she'll recover from that?" 

"Because I know how strong your mother is, and she always faces up to her problems." 

"She didn't this time, Dad. She ran and tried to take the easy way out." 

Jed had no response. What could he say when his daughter was verbalizing his own feelings? 

His quietness gave them all the answer they feared the most. Their father's unspoken fear that maybe this time Abbey wouldn't be strong enough to meet these demons head on. 

"Well, for the time being, we have to support her and get her well physically. Then we'll have to deal with the other issues." Jed was already in partial denial that the substance abuse had ever occurred. 

Not only Abbey would need therapy. 

"Okay, you two. Right now we need to focus on Mom's physical recovery." This was from Zoey, always the peacemaker. 

Jed was not surprised at the way his youngest stepped in to separate the two warring parties. But he and the girls were tired, and maybe they should rest before they got into this discussion again. 

"Hey, it's seven a.m. It's been a long night and maybe we all just need some food and some rest. Then we can discuss this issue calmly. Who wants to see their mother first?" 

Zoey immediately stepped forward. "I will." 

"Okay. But don't stay too long. She's still not as awake as she could be and we don't need to overwhelm her." 

An hour had passed by the time all the girls had had a chance to see their mother. Each one of them came out crying. Jed knew exhaustion and pent-up fear of losing Abbey played a part in the tears. Hell, he could easily cry right now if he let himself. 

He had had a shower and had eaten some breakfast by the time Liz finished her turn. 

"Dad, they want us to stay out for a while and let Mom rest. She's still not completely out of the woods yet, but everybody in there is very hopeful." 

"Fine. I need to make some calls anyway. Why don't you take everyone to your house and get some proper rest? I'll stay here and try to do some work." 

Seeing the argument forming on three pairs of lips, he quickly cut them off. "Listen, if anything happens, you can be here in fifteen minutes. I promise I'll call you with any news. Okay? Do this for me will you? I promise to rest here, but I'm not going to leave your mother." 

He kissed each daughter, and gently shoved them out. He needed some quiet time to think and to figure out what's next for Abbey and for him. That would take some time and he wanted to talk it over with Leo. Leo, of all people, would know how to handle this situation. But only Abbey could agree to get help. 


	2. Recovery 2

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Over the next few hours, Abbey was able to follow more and more instructions. With the exception of weakness in her right arm, so far every indication was that she had escaped the serious damage that Jed and the doctors had feared. But until the ventilator was removed and she was able to breathe on her own, nobody would know if her speech had been affected. 

Jed called Leo with an update. They talked briefly about getting Abbey some help, but no firm decision was made. Both men knew it had to be confidential, with no leak to the press, if the therapy was going to work. An inpatient facility, like the one Leo had been admitted to many years ago in Tucson, was probably out of the question. But first the doctors had to determine how much damage had been done by the stroke. 

Jed laid down for a couple of hours, and this time slept without terrible dreams. 

He got up about three p.m. and decided to check on Abbey. As he entered the ICU, Dr. Burrows approached him. 

"Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet is coming along nicely. We've turned the ventilator down to its lowest setting and are thinking of removing it. She has completely regained consciousness and is fighting the tube at the moment. When that happens, we usually give medication to sedate the patient, but with your wife's recent history, we think it's better to take her off all together. So, if you will give us a few more moments, I would appreciate it. I'll come and get you." 

"Okay." Jed turned and left the ICU. This was great news. 

He called Liz's house and told the girls that they could now talk with their mother. But he stressed that they were not to discuss why she had the stroke. No discussion of the drugs and alcohol. Although he could tell from Ellie's tone that this did not sit well, she did agree to his terms. They would be there within a half hour. 

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Burrows came in. Jed motioned him to sit. 

"Mr. President. Your wife is off the ventilator and doing well. However, when we asked her to say something, it came out garbled. This might be from tube being down so long or it could be an effect of the stroke. I want to ask you to remind her not to speak for the time being. If it is from the stroke, then she'll only get frustrated. And if it is irritation from the ET tube, over time her throat and vocal cords will heal." 

"No problem. I'll do whatever Abbey needs." 

Dr. Burrows looked down at his hands, then back at Jed. This was a very difficult conversation to have with the President of the United States, but the First Lady was his patient and the topic had to be brought up. 

Jed knew what was coming next. He braced himself to hear the words that he wanted to deny. 

"Mr. President, your wife needs some professional help. The abuse of alcohol and drugs and the mixing of them signify that she has a problem which needs to be addressed. I know that confidentiality is a significant issue here, but for her safety it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. I can give you some recommendations or you can determine the next course of action yourself. Either way, I have a professional duty to see that this problem is not swept under the table." 

That last sentence was extremely difficult to discuss with such a prominent man, but there was no way he could not say it. Abbey would not be served if, for political expediency, the issue was allowed to be dropped. 


	3. Recovery 3

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"I understand, Dr. Burrows. I have no intention of sweeping it under the table. I was coming to confront her last night when I found her unconscious at the farmhouse. However, I'm worried that intervening right now will interfere with her physical recovery from the stroke." 

"Mr. President, may I be blunt?" 

"Yes." 

"Your wife did a dangerous thing and she needs help right now. Except for the possibility of impaired speech, I think she will physically heal quite nicely. But help should not be delayed. By discharge, she will be detoxed. However, until the issues have been dealt with, she has a high probability of falling back into the same pattern. And next time, she might not be found so quickly." 

Jed shuddered at what could have been. 

"I understand what you're saying. I'm working with a friend of mine to decide on the best course of action. I welcome your recommendations, but because we are in such a sensitive position, much thought has to go into making such a decision. I promise you though, that it will be taken care of in an expeditious manner." 

"Yes, sir." Dr. Burrows extended his hand as both men stood. "I understand the position you're in. But your wife is my patient and I only want what is best for her." 

"May I see her now?" 

"Certainly." With that, both men turned and went to ICU. Dr. Burrows busied himself at the desk while Jed spoke to Abbey. 

"Abbey?" 

At the sound of Jed's voice, Abbey opened her green eyes. She started to speak but Jed quickly put his finger on her lips. 

"Shh. The doctors don't want you speaking quite yet. Do you understand?" 

Abbey nodded her head. 

"The girls will be here shortly. You gave us quite a scare, Abbey. I found you on the bathroom floor when I got to the farm last night. You had hit your head and it scared me. Have the doctors told you what happened?" 

Again, Abbey nodded yes. 

"Good. You'll recover completely. Everybody will make sure of that." 

Jed could see Abbey's eyelids were getting heavier. 

"Why don't you sleep for a while? You've been through a lot. I'll be here when you wake up and so will the girls. We all love you Abbey, and we want you to get well." 

As Abbey closed her eyes, tears ran down her face from the corners of her eyes. Jed gently wiped them away. Then he leaned over the rails and kissed her. 


	4. Recovery 4

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 4**

The girls were disappointed that they could not see their mother when they arrived, but wanted the best for her. They decided to go to the cafeteria before it closed because it might be another long night. 

Jed watched the girls get in the elevator. As they left, the other set of elevator doors opened and Leo stepped out. 

"Leo! I didn't know you were coming." 

"I didn't know either until a few hours ago. I just made up my mind that I was needed here more than in Washington. CJ and the staff are doing fine. I wanted to be by your side and help Abbey in any way I can. I hope you're not mad." 

"Hell no. I'm glad you came. Come on in and we can talk." 

Jed and Leo entered the family's room and sat down in some comfortable chairs. 

"How is she?" 

"Well, she's been asleep for the past hour, but considering all that she's gone through, it's probably for the best. I saw her before she went to sleep, but I didn't say anything about the drugs and alcohol. Her doctor and I had a long conversation about what I should do. He bluntly said that I shouldn't 'sweep it under the rug' as he put it. He's right. I have the temptation to do that, but I also know that it would only hurt Abbey." 

"That's right, Jed. You have to do what's best for Abbey even if it costs you politically. The press is already having a field day with such headlines as 'Drunk First Lady' and 'First Lady's OD'." 

Jed grimaced at such headlines describing the woman he had loved for so long, but it was closer to the truth than he would have liked. 

"So what do I do, Leo? I certainly cannot have Abbey admitted to an inpatient unit, and running a rehab facility at the White House is not an option either." 

"I've been thinking about this on the way up. I made a few discreet calls and have found a highly recommended facility in Northern Virginia. They cater to very prominent individuals and have high levels of security. That at least would keep the press at bay. You would be nearby when you're needed for family therapy. You know that's a big part of this recovery process, don't you?" 

Reluctantly, Jed said "Yes.". 

"Ron could start looking into the location from the Service's perspective and let us know what he thinks. But everything would be up to Abbey. If she agrees, great. If she doesn't, it would take a court order to force her into it, and I don't know if you want to go that route." 

Jed shook his head. "We might have to consider it as an option. Who do we call?" 

"Well, first, Abbey has got to want the help. Then we call someone at The Center to tell us how you start the ball rolling. It's really the best option I can think of." 

For the first time in more than a month, Jed felt a heavy weight lifted. 

"Thank you. I always knew you would help me." 

"Well, Jed, this is just a little payback for all those nights you got out of a warm bed to pick me up from some street and dry me out. You and Abbey are my closest friends and I would do anything to help." 

Jed leaned forward and hugged his best friend. As usual, Leo had come through. Now it was up to Abbey. 


	5. Recovery 5

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Slowly, Abbey regained her strength. She was kept in ICU another 24 hours just to monitor her and make sure there were no setbacks. Her voice, although softer than normal, gradually returned. Her right arm was still weak, but with therapy she should regain full function. She had escaped with minor physical damage. 

Jed stayed in the ICU as much as the staff would allow. When he wasn't there, one of the girls was by her side. 

On Monday afternoon, she was moved to the VIP suite in the hospital. 

So far, no one had broached the subject on everybody's mind. But the hour was fast approaching. 

Jed decided to bring in reinforcements just in case he couldn't persuade her to do what needed to be done. He asked Millie and Leo to be around the hospital when the discussion began. Millie, as Abbey's best and longtime friend, and Leo, because he had gone through this agony before and understood what Abbey was facing. 

Jed decided Tuesday was decision day. The doctors had said that she was stable and would be able to face any stressful conversation without possible relapse. 

He looked for the right opportunity and Abbey herself presented him with it. 

"Jed," she said softly. "I know what caused my stroke." 

"Yeah? What?" 

"My high blood pressure. But do you know what caused my blood pressure to rise?" 

Jed got out of his chair and sat on the bed, facing her. He held her hands and looked directly into her eyes. He hoped beyond hope that she would recognize the problem herself, without needing him to intervene. 

"Why don't you tell me?" 

"You caused my blood pressure to rise. The way you've been behaving these last few months. Behaving like you don't care about me." 

Jed was caught off guard with her reply. Stunned, he couldn't compose a response. 

"Ever since you recovered from the MS episode, you have recklessly disregarded every attempt I have made to make our lives less stressful. That caused my blood pressure to rise, which caused this stroke. Thank God it wasn't serious." 

Jed still couldn't comprehend her response. He had hoped that she would make it easy, but then nothing was ever easy with Abbey. So he decided to be blunt. 

"Abbey, the doctor told me something else, something much more serious than high blood pressure. He said they found an excessive amount of alcohol in your system which you had mixed with too many Xanax. Abbey, you know better. It almost killed you." 

"No, Jed. The fall in the bathroom almost killed me. And that was not due to an excessive amount of alcohol or drugs. That was directly tied in to the fact that I was having a stroke because of high blood pressure." 

Jed shook his head. He tried for the next few minutes to persuade Abbey otherwise, but it was falling on deaf ears. His temper was beginning to rise and with it, his blood pressure. 

So he decided to try one of his back-ups. 


	6. Recovery 6

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"Leo is here. He wants to see you. Are you up to it?" 

"Sure." 

Jed walked over to the door and motioned for Leo to come in. A slight shake of the head and Leo knew what had just occurred. 

"How ya' doing, Abbey?" 

"I've been better." That joke cause all three to laugh. 

"Abbey, I just want to tell you that mixing alcohol and drugs is bad. You could have killed yourself. I know. I've been there. And I know all the excuses in the world. You have to get some help." 

Jed was amazed how Leo just jumped right in. Guess experience helped a person to gain perspective. 

"Leo. I know all about the problems. But I wasn't. The cause of my stroke was high blood pressure. I'm a physician and I know what causes what. So lay off me. I'm getting help for my blood pressure. So just leave me alone. I took the pills and drank with plenty of time in between for my body to break it down. There was no relationship of one with the other." 

Jed stepped in. "Abbey. Your blood alcohol level was almost twice the legal limit in New Hampshire for DUI and there were twice the recommended amount of drugs in your system for a twenty-four hour period." 

"I wasn't driving, Jed. I was in our house, all tucked away. Besides, there has only been one instance of this. There's no pattern to it." 

Jed sighed. "Abbey, do you remember the night before you left to come to the farm? You and I had had a fight and you left the room." 

"Yeah. And I woke up the next morning in my bed. So where's the problem?" 

Jed just shook his head. "I found you passed out on the floor of your office. And I finally got you back in the bed. You don't remember this?" 

"You're just making it up." Abbey averted her eyes from Jed's face. "I'm tired, Jed. How about leaving me alone to get some rest?" 

Against every thing that he knew and had been told, Jed agreed to let Abbey rest. The last thing Jed wanted was to have Abbey have any more problems. 

He kissed her and motioned for Leo to come out with him. There just had to be a way to get through to her and he would do everything possible to find it. 


	7. Recovery 7

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The next day was Jed's last chance. CJ had called and needed him back in Washington this evening. He had consulted the addiction counselor at the hospital and was prepared to deal with this, once and for all. 

This time he brought in the whole army. The girls had been coached in what to say. Millie was very willing to lay things on the line. Leo and Dr. Burrows also wanted to be there. The battle was about to be launched. 

Abbey was shocked when seven people entered her room at the same time. Down deep she knew why they were all there, but she still wanted to deny there was a problem. 

Jed spoke first. "Abbey, we're here because we all care for you. Your health and well-being is our highest priority. But you have to help us. The high level of stress you have been experiencing has led you to do things you wouldn't normally do. The mixing of alcohol and drugs almost killed you. And we will not allow that to happen again. You have to get some professional help for this and do it right away." 

"But, Jed…" 

"Abbey, this is not your time to speak. I want each of us in this room to share with you what feelings we have about you and your behavior." 

Liz spoke first. "Mom, I want you around for a long time to come. You mean the world to me and to your grandchildren. There are so many things I want your advice on as the children grow. You need to see Annie on her first prom date. You need to be around to see Gus grow into a fine man. But you won't if you continue with this. Please Mom, you need help." 

Ellie was next. "Mom, maybe one day I'll get married. If so, then I want you and Dad to be there. I want you to hold my children, like you've done with Liz. I need your advice because I have many problems to come that you have already lived through." 

"Mom," Zoey spoke. "I have just graduated from college. I have so many questions about life and choices to make. And I need my mother there to help me make those choices. I love you and I want you around for much longer." 

Millie spoke next. "Abigail, you did something really stupid. I thought you were dumb when you agreed to marry this man…" she smiled at Jed. "But it has brought you nothing but pleasure. But taking drugs and mixing them with alcohol is stupid. Every fiber of your being knows that. And there are no excuses. You need help and you need it right now." 

Leo was next. "Abbey, we have known each other for as long as you have known Jed. You're a smart lady. You're hurting and you need to deal with it. Mixing alcohol and drugs only hides your pain. It does not solve whatever the problem is. I should know. Abbey, this stuff almost killed you. Is that what you want? Is death a better option than living?" 

Now it was Dr. Burrows turn. "Mrs. Bartlet, I saw the results of your actions. And they weren't pretty. If you don't believe what your family and friends are saying, then look at your lab results. You're a physician and the facts don't lie." 

He gave her the lab printouts which showed just how high the levels were in her system. This was the first time Abbey had seen the numbers. 

Abbey looked at Jed and started to speak, but Jed hushed her. 

"Its my turn, Abbey." He took a deep breath and began. 

"Abbey, you know I love you beyond reason. You gave me three beautiful children and even more love. These past few years have been tough for all of us, especially you. I have ignored cultivating the only relationship on this earth that has brought me great joy and satisfaction. For that, I am sorry. 

"You must be hurting deeply to do what you did. I know that given normal circumstances, this would not have happened. But the past few months have been anything but normal. But you stayed by me. Now, I'm trying to stay by you. You need help. I love you and always will, but until you get the help you need, our relationship is on hold. There will be no 'us' until you beat this problem." 

Even Jed was shocked as he spoke these words. They were unexpected. But he meant it. Abbey was not welcomed back until she got help. 

"I've already located a private rehab facility in northern Virginia, and Ron has okayed it from a security standpoint. When you leave here, will you check yourself in?" 

Every person in the room waited for her answer. 

Abbey knew that she had to get some help. The faster she did, the sooner she and Jed could mend their fences and get back to their relationship. Jed meant it when he told her that she was not welcomed back in his life until she got some help. He had never used this threat before, and she was sure he meant it. 

As Abbey looked into each of the faces of the people in the room waiting anxiously for her answer, she knew that the only response she could give was… 

"Yes, I'll go." 


	8. Recovery 8

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 8**

After ten more days in the hospital in Manchester, Dr. Burrows felt Abbey was strong enough to leave and travel. Liz had bought her a wig to cover her head. Although she was upset when the bandages had been removed, she knew that the surgery had saved her life. Her hair would grow back. 

From Andrews, she traveled to a small town in the Shenandoah Mountains in Northern Virginia where a very private facility awaited her arrival. The doctor on staff had been sent her medical records so she would be alert to any complications from the stroke if they arose during Abbey's hospitalization. 

An hour after she was admitted, the White House issued a brief statement: 

>   
>  _The First Lady has been discharged from the local hospital in Manchester. Her condition upon discharge is satisfactory and she is growing stronger every day. She has been admitted to a private facility in the United States for treatment of a private problem. The President and his family wish to maintain their and her privacy during this time. No further information will be forthcoming._   
> 

**** 

Abbey settled in. Due to security concerns, she was not made to share her room with any other resident. However, she was still expected to follow all the rules and would be assigned duties as any other resident. 

The first couple of days were spent getting to know the other residents and getting settled into a routine. Breakfast was at eight, after which individual sessions were held. About ten, the residents came together for the first of two daily group sessions. Lunch was served at one p.m. The second group session was held at two. Between four o'clock and dinner, the residents were free to do anything they wished. The Center had a well-stocked recreation center, an indoor pool, and a huge selection of crafts and various activities. It had lovely grounds which were covered by stone paths. Some residents had a second individual session during that time. Television time was limited to the three hours after dinner. Lights out at eleven p.m. 

Because of Abbey's recent hospitalization, she was given time to rest in the afternoon if she needed it. The other residents had been told of her situation, so they didn't feel that she was getting special privileges. Besides, all a person had to do was be near the television for the past two weeks to know of her situation. 

On the first day she met with Robert, her assigned counselor. All of the staff had passed security clearances and her counselor was assigned on a random basis. He reminded Abbey of Ron. Tall, well-built and no nonsense. Abbey knew she would have trouble if she wanted to misdirect him. 

For the moment, she decided to tell him the truth. The truth that soon turned into denial. 

Right away, he wanted her to talk about how she got into this situation. 

Trying to minimize the issues, she talked about Jed's constant absences. Not only while he has been President, but for many years of their marriage. Her inability to control aspects of their marriage, even as she controlled all other aspects of her life. Even with the children, she could control their days and routines. But she couldn't control her husband. His many absences made that impossible. 

At no time in those first few days did she really get to the issue that started this decline of the past few months. She was not threatened with discussing his absences. The main issue was much more personal. That was too threatening at the moment. 

"Have you told me everything, Abbey?" Robert was calling her by her first name, standard for all patients. 

"Yes." Abbey avoided eye contact with him. 

"Okay. That's enough for right now. We'll continue this later." Robert left Abbey alone to think about her answers, that they both knew were lies. 

Abbey had met some of the other residents. The Service had completed all their normal background checks and was okay with her mingling. If not, she would never have been allowed to come. At first, the residents were in awe of having the First Lady of the United States as one of their co-residents. It took several days for everybody to realize that Abbey was a real person and had troubles as well. After that, they treated her as if she was just another resident. 

Most of them had similar problems. Some had just drug problems. Some had alcohol problems. One, like Abbey, had been doing both at the same time. Rebecca Taylor had been admitted two weeks prior to Abbey's arrival. She had mixed pain pills and alcohol, after catching her husband with another woman. Rebecca had been found unconscious on her kitchen floor by her seventeen year-old son. After getting her stomach pumped out, her husband had admitted her to The Center. At least Abbey had recognized her problem and came freely. 

Sort of. 


	9. Recovery 9

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 9**

It didn't take long for Robert to call Abbey's bluff. A few days later, Robert hit home. 

"Okay, Abbey. Why are you here?" 

"You know why. I swallowed too many pills and drank too much alcohol." 

"No, Abbey. Why are you here?" 

Abbey just stared at him. She could discuss any issue, other than the real one. It was just too hard. 

"I don't know." 

"Yes, I think you do. You know anything said here or in group is confidential." 

"Yes." 

"Then tell me your fear." Robert could be as patient as needed. 

"I've already told you." 

"Abbey, we're not getting anywhere. If you won't express it verbally, then I want you to write it down. Write a letter describing why you're here. Not what happened just before you were admitted. I want you to describe your core fear and what drove you to do what you did." 

"Okay." 

Abbey went back to her room and tried to put her feelings into words. 

This is the letter that she wrote: 

>   
>  _'My husband is the reason I'm here. He cares nothing for me and my feelings and it has been this way for a very long time. We used to be so happy. But then he started staying away for long periods of time. You can't have a relationship with someone who is gone most of the time. It fell to me to raise the children, to live the life that he should share with me. Yes, sometimes he was there, but more times than not, I was the one everybody depended upon. I was the one there to take care of the children when they were sick, to go to their activities, to share their ups and downs. Then later, he shut me out completely. That's why I did what I did.'_   
> 

At the next day's meeting with Robert, he asked to read it. Of course, Abbey knew that when she wrote it. She wasn't a total idiot when it came to these games. 

She watched his face as Robert read the words. She hoped he believed that Jed was the cause of all of her problems. She still was unable to share with anybody her true feelings. 

Robert crumpled the paper. "This is shit, Abbey. You're still dancing around the main issue here. The real heart of the matter is that you have problems. You're still blaming others for your behavior. That stops right here. I want you to think about this for the next few minutes. I'm giving you fair warning. Today in group you will be the focus of discussion. If you think I'm tough, just wait. This group will tear you part. Games are not allowed in there. First and foremost, you have to true to yourself. I think by the end of today, you'll see what I mean." 

With that, Robert walked out of the room. Abbey started trembling. She had already attended some group sessions and knew group members could be ruthless to each other. They shared common behaviors and finally someone would confront her with hers. 

Today. 


	10. Recovery 10

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Abbey entered the room and took her seat. The others filed in not knowing who would be the group's focus today. Abbey knew. 

As Robert sat in the circle, he glanced to Abbey. He could see the fear in her eyes. He had warned her and given her every opportunity to come clean. Now the group would help her to focus on her real problems. 

"Okay, folks. Let's get started. Today's topic is being true to yourself. I want Abbey to share with you a letter she recently wrote describing why she's here." 

Abbey was shaking as she took the letter from Robert's hand and began to read the words on the paper. 

Before she had finished, the group was screaming at her. 

"Abbey, you're blaming others for your action." 

"You're lying to yourself." 

"Why can't you face yourself?" 

"Abbey, that's not the real reasons behind your actions." 

Abbey looked from face to face as she listened to their words. 

"Yes, it's true that others caused my behavior." But her words fell on deaf ears. 

"Crap!" "Shit!" "Oh hell." 

"Quit blaming others for your actions." 

"Why can't you face the truth?" 

By now tears were streaming down Abbey's face. She grabbed for the Kleenex and tried to stop blubbering. 

"I, I, I…" 

"Abbey, don't speak until you can face the truth." That came from Rebecca. "Abbey, I've been there. I know about blaming others. Hell, I blamed my husband's infidelity for driving me to drink and take pills. I took his actions and used them as a crutch. But that's not the real reason I did what I did. I have finally realized that I made the decision. I was hurting so bad that I felt that I didn't have any options. The marriage has been in trouble for awhile and I just couldn't face it. Now your marriage may not be the reason you're here, but you know the real reason. And until you face it, you can't start the healing process." 

"I, I, I…" Abbey still couldn't get any coherent words out. She looked again at her group members. They weren't smiling. 

Suddenly, she felt the need to escape. She ran out of the room and slammed the door to her room. She didn't care at that point that the door closing was against the rules. She just had to be alone. 

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. "Go away." 

"I won't." That was Robert. He opened the door to find Abbey lying on the bed, crying uncontrollably. "This door stays open. Are you ready to talk yet?" 

Abbey shook her head. 

"I'll be back in five minutes, and then we're going to have a chat." He turned and walked away. 

All Abbey could do was continue crying. She really didn't want him to come back. She wanted to leave. The pain was getting too intense. She knew Robert was going to force her to face her issues. Only her issues. And she was scared. 

She knew her agents patrolling the building and grounds would take her away if she wanted to. But then she would have to explain it to Jed. 

'Abbey, get hold of yourself. If you value your marriage and your relationship with Jed, you won't leave.' Her thoughts were just jumbled in her head. 

She decided to stay another day. 


	11. Recovery 11

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Five minutes later, as promised, Robert reappeared. "Abbey, let's go to one of the private session rooms. It'll be easier than talking in here." 

Like a small child following a parent, Abbey obediently got up and followed him. 

Her tears were just below the surface. But her fear was all too evident. She couldn't quit shaking. Was the truth going to finally come out? 

"Abbey, I warned you about the group. You have attended enough meetings to know that sometimes it's not a pretty sight. So now, are you ready to discuss the truth?" 

Abbey didn't respond. She couldn't even look at him. 

"Abbey, we'll sit here all night if that is what it takes. You know I mean that. So, are you going to tell me the real reason for your behavior the past few months?" 

Abbey finally looked at him. She exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding. 

"Do I have a choice?" 

"You'll eventually have to tell me, but it's your option when that will occur." 

He leaned back in the chair, prepared to wait her out. He knew that whatever she was hiding was very threatening to her and it would take great effort on her part to share it. 

She knew he meant business. This was the point of no return. Either she spoke the truth or she would lose the only man she had ever loved. 

To gather strength, Abbey stood to speak. But her knees buckled as she fainted. 

Robert jumped up and tried to ease her body to the floor. He ended up underneath the First Lady of the United States as she fainted in his arms. Well, he thought, this was not what he expected. 

"Help. Help!" Robert shouted for assistance. 

Other staff members rushed in as Robert yelled. They eased Abbey off of Robert and after he stood up, helped him gather her in his arms. He carried her quickly to the medical room. 

"Doctor, you have a patient." 

***** 

Abbey quickly regained consciousness and became aware of two people in the room. She gradually focused her eyes and immediately saw Robert talking with a woman in a white lab coat. Must be the Center's physician. Then she remembered she fainted. 

Robert saw her head move and turned to her. 

"Abbey, are you okay? You fainted just a few minutes ago and I brought you here to the medical office. How are you feeling?" 

"Mrs. Bartlet, I'm Dr. Turner. I'm the Medical Director here. You apparently fainted from the stress you've been experiencing over the past few days. Your blood pressure is elevated, but not as high as your past history indicates. I think all you need is to rest this afternoon. I'll come to your room and check on you, but I think quiet time is all that you need." 

"I want to call my husband. I need to talk with him." 

"I'm sorry Abbey. You can't. You know the rules. No phone calls unless it's an emergency." 

"Well, when he hears about this, you won't be able to stop him from coming down. A phone call will go a long way to soothe his nerves. If he hears about this from me, he'll handle it a lot better." 

Robert looked at the doctor and then looked at Abbey. "I'll ask the center's Director. If he agrees, then I'll have to monitor the call and you can't speak to him about anything other than the fainting spell. Are we clear?" 

Abbey quickly agreed to all of the terms. She desperately needed to hear Jed's voice. 

**** 

After getting settled on her bed, she waited for Robert to come back. 

This was the first time she had even wanted to talk with Jed since she had arrived. She initially had blamed him for persuading her to come, for basically blackmailing her. But gradually she realized that she really needed to be here. And right now, if she could only hear his voice, then maybe she could rebuild her strength to deal with her problems. 

"Okay. The Director gave permission for one very brief call. If you can't reach him, you must leave a message. And under no circumstances can you discuss any of the issues here. It's not time yet." Robert plugged in two phones and handed one to Abbey. He sat down at the second phone to listen in on the call. 

Abbey thought a minute and decided to take a chance that Jed was at his desk. She dialed his private line. 

Ring. Ring. By the third ring, she got nervous that he wasn't there. 

"Yes?" 

Abbey was so relieved to hear his voice. 

"Jed, it's Abbey. I only have a minute so I need to tell you what has happened." 

"Are you okay?" She could hear the concern in his voice. 

"Well, that's why I'm calling. I had a fainting spell a few minutes ago, but I'm fine now. The doctor here checked me out and everything is fine. She just said that I was still recovering from the stroke." Abbey lied because she was afraid Robert would make her hang up if she told him about the stress. 

"Are you sure you're okay? Do I need to come down?" 

"No, Jed. I'm really fine. I just wanted you to hear it from me. How are the girls?" 

Robert turned to her and mouthed "No". 

Before Jed could answer, Abbey abruptly ended the call. "Gotta go, Jed. I just wanted to call you and tell you I'm fine. I love you." 

"I love you too, Abbey. Get better. I miss you." 

Robert disconnected the call. Abbey was crying. She now knew that her marriage was worth whatever she had to go through here to get better. She just needed to open her wounds so they could start to heal. 


	12. Recovery 12

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 12**

The next day, in the individual session, Robert started again. "Now, are you ready to face your issues? Don't give me any more crap about others causing your problems. I only want to hear your issue." 

Abbey picked up a glass of water and took a deep swallow. Finally she looked at Robert. "Okay. Let me tell you a story." 

"It had not better not be about anybody but you." Robert was warning Abbey that her games were over. 

"It explains my behavior over the past months. Even over the past years. Are you ready to listen?" 

"I'm all ears. Please continue." Robert only hoped that Abbey was telling him the truth this time. 

She finally was. 

"In early 1997, Jed came to me to tell me that he was thinking about running for President. At first I thought it was his original idea, but later I found out that certain influential Democrats had been talking to him for over a year about possibly running. He said that he was just keeping John Hoynes honest. But then it snowballed. It got out of control and before I knew it, he was a bona fide candidate for the Presidency. 

"I had thought we were partners. At least we have been for the almost thirty years we had been married prior to his Presidency. When he went to graduate school in London, I delayed medical school. Then he taught while I went through medical school and residency. Even when he was a Congressman, I worked only part-time so there would always be a parent available for the children. When we moved into the Governor's Mansion, I only worked part time so I was available for official functions. But in my line of work, emergencies do happen. Jed usually canceled functions if one of the girls had something special and I couldn't be there. We were there as a team. 

"But since he ran for President, the team, the partnership has dissolved. That's what makes me so mad. I hurt because it's like we were never partners. Since he obtained the Presidency, there have been promises of partnership, but every time I would find out that he ignored the promises. He betrayed me. Many, many times. I guess I had been hurt as many times as I could stand it." 

As Abbey caught her breath, Robert finally realized that Abbey's problem dealt with extreme hurt and anger at her husband. Betrayal. Almost as if the Presidency was a mistress that her husband had cheated with. 

"I think this is enough for now. You're finally showing signs of telling the truth. I really think this is the first step toward healing. Why don't you rest and we'll continue this tomorrow? In that session, why don't you discuss specific instances where you feel he has betrayed you?" 

"Sure." 

Finally, Abbey felt she was being true, to herself and to the real problem. She wasn't hiding the truth from anybody, especially herself. What a relief. 

She slept well that night. 


	13. Recovery 13

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 13**

The next morning, Abbey started again. 

"Yesterday, you asked for examples. I can share with you some of the worst times in my life. Some of this has been in papers, but some have not. I'm relying upon confidentiality to keep going. Right?" 

"Yes, Abbey. I realize how sensitive the topics are that you're discussing, but here we hear a lot of things. Confidentiality is expected by all of us. Yes, you and your husband are the First Couple, but you're not being treated any different. Please feel free to share with me anything that you want to. Anything that will help you heal. Okay?" 

"Fine." 

"Anytime you want…" 

Abbey took a deep breath. 

"There have been several times that Jed has meant well, but has shut me out of decisions as partners we would have usually made. Some decisions were related to high level security issues, but many others were not. They were directly related to us as a couple, decisions about the children. I wanted it the way it used to be. The good old days. 

"Back to the first election. Once he became a bona fide candidate, I got scared that he would actually win. I believed in him as a good man and knew the country would recognize it as well. But the stress of non-stop campaigning with his Multiple Sclerosis worried me deeply. He had already had several minor relapses as Governor, unknown to the public. Then he had another one on the campaign trail. Knowing his medical history, I was very concerned that he would not make it through the rest of the campaign and a four year Presidency without having another relapse of his MS. So we made an agreement. Our agreement was that he would serve only one term if he was elected. He and I both knew that stress was part of this job, but no one could even fathom how severe it has been at times. There were many times during the first four years I wondered why I even agreed to it. 

"We were going fine until the third State of the Union. The whole speech was a not so subtle referral to his desire to run for a second term. After a huge argument, I thought he had decided for sure not to run. I thought we had a deal again. Well, I was wrong. 

"The next time was when his staff was told about the MS. His Communications Director, Toby Ziegler, confronted him late one night. That's when Jed told him the truth. You already know about the political fallout from that information. He then had to tell the rest of the staff. I found out about that afterwards. Jed thought it would be a good idea to face the American public with a live disclosure. I wanted a careful disclosure with time for people to find out about the disease. To learn it was not fatal and that Jed could still maintain the duties of the office with the disease. But no, my medical training was not even considered in the push to control the spin. 

"Then later, I turned on the TV one night and there he was announcing his candidacy for a second term. Right out of the blue. No discussion with me. No nothing. He just screwed me. 

"He had just lost his secretary of many years and I think he was worried about his mortality. So he plunged ahead. He said he had just made up his mind at the time he stepped up to the podium, but I don't think so. I think he had his mind made up before he stepped up to the podium. Jed Bartlet does not make political decisions on the spur of the moment. 

"By the time he got back to the White House, I was so mad that I couldn't speak to him for a long time. Our relationship got very chilly. On my trips, I wouldn't take his calls. But in public I put on the face of a happily married woman. Then he promised to consult me in the future. I thought we were going to be fine. Well, that didn't last very long. 

"Then I paid the price with the revocation of my medical license. He had earlier been censured by Congress, but he got to keep his job. Hell, he was even reelected. But, no, I paid the price by having my medical license revoked. So why fight it? I just gave it up for the length of our stay in the White House. The only thing that had ever made me feel like an independent person had suddenly been taken away from me. Of course, I was pissed. But I have to admit that Jed supported me in my decision. He was there for me that night. I thought we had regained our partnership. Wrong. 

"I guess that's when I really started drinking heavily. I had always had several glasses of wine at dinner. But it was my birthday, so I just took several bottles of wine from the dinner and with a couple of girlfriends, proceeded to get drunk. Problem was, I didn't stop that night. I started hiding my bottles from Jed. When I was on the road, I would have two bottles of wine in my room at all times. And more times than not, they were empty the next morning. I easily hid it most of the time. Many nights I would be asleep before Jed ever came to bed. I guess he thought I was just tired. But this went on more nights then I can count. 

"By the time he officially announced, I was supporting him. At least publicly. Here we were supposed to be this happily married couple, and I could just kill him. I felt like a total hypocrite. But I softened because he promised to include me in future decisions. We were a team again. But that didn't last long. Again. 

"Election day was great. He won and I had come to terms with his being President for another four years. I thought, great, we'll have a fresh start and things will be different. Well, they weren't. 

"Our youngest daughter, Zoey, was kidnapped. I won't go into the details because most of it is public information. But I still blame him for the terror and heartbreak he put me through. I relied upon him heavily until afterwards when I found out it was his actions that caused our terror. What he put me and our daughter through was horrible. I still haven't forgotten that his actions caused all of that. I really don't know if I can even ever forgive him for the pain he caused me and Zoey. It took me months just to be able to live in the same house with him again. 

"And it wouldn't have occurred if he hadn't run again. If we had just gone home to Manchester and forgotten about Washington, it wouldn't have happened. Another promise broken. 

"Minor things happened after that. I guess that's when I started mixing the pills with the alcohol. I had only been taking Xanax on an irregular basis, but then I started taking one or two a night. I was still drinking a bottle or two of wine a night and didn't care about the risk of mixing the two. I was hurting so bad that I would do anything to just get rid of the pain. 

"Jed's best friend for forty years, Leo McGarry had a major heart attack. I'm sure you heard that on the news. Jed's anger over some minor disagreement led to almost losing Leo. I was there for Jed, but down deep I hated him because I felt that Jed had caused it to happen. Thank God Leo recovered, but it took months for Jed to see what he had done. Months that I held anger and resentment toward him. 

"Then the dam broke. As you know, Jed had a relapse of his MS on the China trip he was on some months ago. He had started to have some minor symptoms before we left, which I knew about. But we decided to go on. What you don't know, and I didn't at the time, how bad his symptoms were before he left. He let me go on to India without telling me his symptoms were worsening. I had to hear about it when he was on the plane two thousand miles away, from my best friend, a physician, whom Jed had persuaded to go on the trip as medical back-up. He knew before he left the White House that this might happen, yet he kept his worries a secret from me. Again, I'm his partner, his best friend, his wife. But no information was forthcoming. It was a harrowing trip. He developed severe complications and I feared I might lose him for good. But somehow, he has mostly recovered. We talked about it several times, but each time he persuaded me that it was best that I didn't know. Again, I caved in for the 'good of the Presidency'." 

Abbey's voice was full of sarcasm. 

"Then weeks ago, in what I thought was Jed's best interest, I left word that he was to get eight hours of sleep a night, no matter what. When, one night there was an international crisis and he wasn't called, he got really mad at me. That time I was acting without his knowledge and consent. I guess somehow I just wanted him to hurt like he has hurt me so much. He became really angry at me and I guess that's when I went over the edge. 

"You know from the admission summary the circumstances that led me here. I did some really stupid things, and as a physician I knew it. But my heart was hurting so much, any thought of risk just didn't penetrate. Or else I wanted to spin the wheel and maybe die just to get away from the pain. Maybe I was partially suicidal. Just trying to get rid of the pain." 

By now, tears were streaming down Abbey's face. She finally realized that her pain over Jed's behavior these past eight years had ultimately led her to these circumstances and had almost cost her life. She shuddered when she realized that thoughts and actions of suicide were behind some of her actions. As a devout Catholic, that would have been unthinkable. But had she continued on the path she was on, that was the probable outcome. 

Robert just let her think in silence. When residents come to this point, the best thing to do is to let them continue to think about their actions for a few more minutes. 

He finally spoke. "Abbey, you're finally understanding the basic cause of your actions over these past few months. That's the first step." 

She looked at him questionably, "The first step?" 

"Yes. The next step is to share with your feelings with your husband. You cannot begin to truly heal without him knowing how you feel. Do you think you're ready?" 

Abbey just stared at him. 

Finally, what he said sunk in. "You mean I have to talk with Jed about my feelings?" 

"Yes, Abbey, that's the only way you both can move on. Whether you move on with him or without him, that's not for me to decide. This is something best worked out between the two of you." 

Taking a deep breath, she realized that it had to be done. "Can I call him directly and ask him?" 

"Yes. That's what I want you to do. I can make arrangements whenever he's available to come. He needs to allow at least an afternoon, maybe on a Saturday or Sunday. Whatever time works best for him, we'll make arrangements. Be honest with him, Abbey. Don't go into any details. Save that for the session. But do tell him that you need to have a frank discussion with him, for your sake, for his sake, for the sake of your relationship." 

Abbey nodded. Her fear was making her want a drink to calm her nerves, but she knew that was out of the question. She would just have to do it without a crutch. She had to start throwing away those crutches and face life on her own. She had already tried to kill herself once. That would never happen again. 


	14. Recovery 14

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Abbey called Jed that night. 

"I thought you couldn't make any calls, Abbey." 

"Well, this is different. They allowed me to call you to set up some time you can come down here and have a joint therapy session. You did realize that was part of my healing, didn't you?" 

"Yes." 

"You don't sound excited." 

"No, really, I'm fine. Let me look at my calendar. Any specific day?" 

"My counselor said he could be available at anytime you could. You will need to mark off at least three to four hours." 

"What?" 

"I said it will take half a day to discuss things." 

"I'm looking. What about Sunday afternoon? It looks fairly clear right now." 

"What about two p.m.? 

"Right now, that looks okay. I'll have Debbie put it on my calendar. Should the girls also come?" 

"No, Jed. This session is only for the two of us." 

"Okay. How are you doing? I really miss you. In fact, I think the whole staff misses you. They say I've been crabbier than normal." 

Abbey smiled at that statement. She knew first hand how crabby Jed could get when things were unbalanced. 

"Well, babe, give them my best. Maybe I can come home soon and get you uncrabby." 

"Looking forward to the day." 

"Okay, Jed. I'll see you Sunday. Its only three days away. Love you." 

"I love you, Abbey. Can't wait until Sunday." 

Abbey was already nervous about this encounter, and it would only become more intense until she and Jed talked. 

******* 

Sunday morning came and the phone rang at the main desk. 

"The Center, may I help you?" 

"I need to speak with Mrs. Bartlet, please." 

"Who's calling?" 

"The White House." 

"Just a minute." 

A member of the staff came to Abbey's room with a phone. "The White House is calling for you, Abbey." 

"Thanks. Jed?" 

"Yes, Abbey. Something has happened and I won't be able to get there today. You know I would be there if I could." 

Abbey paused, gathering her thoughts. "Jed, I'm disappointed. But I guess there's nothing we can do but reschedule." "I'm sorry. I really am." "Okay. Just come down as soon as you can." "I will. I promise." 

Abbey hung up the phone and went to find Robert. "Jed can't come today. Something has happened and he has to stay at the White House. What do we do?" 

"How do you feel about that, Abbey?" 

"At first, I was glad I didn't have to face him, but now I'm getting angry. I know the country comes first, but you would think that our relationship was the priority right now." 

"That's a true feeling, Abbey. Is it logical?" 

Abbey looked at Robert for a second. "Well, not really. He can't be two places at the same time, can he? And he does have a duty to the country. So I guess my feelings are not very logical, are they?" 

"Valid yes. Logical, no. We'll just reschedule. How are you doing right now?" 

"I guess I'm okay. I was getting nervous about this meeting but then this morning, before the call came, I realized that my reactions to his behavior were the issues, not necessarily his behavior." 

"Wonderful insight, Abbey. Now, let's work with those insights and make some more progress. You reschedule him whenever. I'll be here for the both of you whenever the meeting is held." 


	15. Recovery 15

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 15**

It took a few more days, but Jed finally found some substantial free time to come to The Center. On Wednesday, he arrived in an unmarked Suburban about four pm. He was escorted to a private visitation room where Abbey and Robert were waiting. 

Jed had not seen Abbey since he left the hospital in Manchester, almost a month ago. She had regained some weight, and her natural hair was short, but styled. Jed knew that Abbey hated short hair, but she apparently was dealing with the length. She looked rested. In fact, Jed had not seen his wife this rested for many months. 

They hugged and gave gentle kisses to each other. Robert could tell that each of them was anxious about this meeting, normal for all the first couple conferences he had ever monitored. 

"Hello, Mr. President. I'm Robert. I have been Abbey's counselor since she was admitted." 

The two men shook hands and Robert motioned for Jed to have a seat. 

They each sat down in a comfortable overstuffed chair, with Jed and Abbey facing each other and Robert in between them, but pushed back from their direct line of view. 

"First, I want to tell you that Abbey has made great progress since she has been here. It has been a pleasure to work with her." Robert needed to give Abbey some positive strokes before she began. 

"Now, for the ground rules. I respect your office sir, but for the sake of this discussion it would be best if we all used first names." 

Jed nodded his approval. 

"Each person will speak in turn, the other person allowing the speaker to finish with his or her thoughts. Only honestly will be allowed. In order for this to work, you must be honest with each other. If I feel either one of you is withholding or is leading your partner into a false discussion, I will call you on it. If either of you need a break, let the person speaking finish and then ask me for it. If it gets too intense, I will call for a break myself. There will be no shouting and you will respect the other's feelings. And most importantly, anything said in this room will be held in the strictest confidence. No transcript or notes of this meeting will ever exist. Do I make myself clear?" 

"Yes." 

"Yes." 

"Okay, Abbey, please begin." 

"Jed, it has taken me a while to figure out what my problem has been. I want to explain the reasons for my behavior the past few months before I had the stroke. I…" 

"Abbey, you've been…" 

"Excuse me, Jed. I said no interruptions." Jed looked at Robert and nodded his head. 

"Sorry." Jed looked down at his hands, as if his father was still scolding him. 

"Continue, Abbey." Jed looked back at her face. 

She took a deep breath and continued her thoughts. 

"As I was saying, I had been under a great deal of stress, but until recently I didn't realize why. For the past few years I have been hurt deeply by you dissolving our life partnership." 

There. It was out. She continued. 

"This hasn't been going on exclusively during our White House years. Almost a year before you became President, you decided to try for the White House. You listened to other people tell you how great you would be and didn't even bother to let me know your thoughts on the matter until just before you filed your paperwork. Jed, up until that time, I felt we were equal partners in life. We shared duties and responsibilities as life partners. At least one of us was always available for the children. We supported each other through the ups and downs of any marriage. As long as we were together, as partners, I was fine. Then you were elected President and you got a mistress. The partnership disappeared and I was no longer your partner. The Presidency was. And to this day, our partnership has yet to reappear." 

Robert looked at Jed as Abbey said the last few sentences. He saw the President's face turn pale and his hands start to tremble. 

This conversation was deeply affecting the man. But Abbey was far from finished. 

v Abbey continued the one-sided conversation for the next two hours. Jed held his tongue but his face was a mixture of frustration, despair, and fear. He looked as if he was hearing this for the first time. He probably was, Robert thought. 

Although Robert had assessed Abbey as a person who speaks her mind, he also knew the imposing presence the Presidency had to be. 

When Abbey finished, Robert turned to Jed. "You look as if you need a break. Coffee and cookies are in the back of this room, and restrooms are just outside." 

Jed quickly exited the room. 

Abbey turned to Robert. 

"How did I do?" 

"You were very clear, Abbey. Now, let's see what your husband thinks." 


	16. Recovery 16

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Jed came back into the room, a little more composed than he had been when he left. He was still trying to clear his thoughts and figure out what to say. 

He sat back down with a cup of coffee in his hands and looked at Robert. 

"I don't know what to say. That was hard to hear." 

"I think you do, Jed. Abbey needs to hear your true feelings on the issues that she raised. It is very important for you to be honest and not explain away any concerns she has raised." 

Jed turned to face Abbey. To give himself one more minute, he turned and placed his coffee cup on the table. 

"Okay. Abbey, I can only say I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just…" 

"Jed." Robert spoke. "I said for you to be honest and truthful. I don't think that statement was the total truth, was it?" 

Jed looked from Abbey, anxiously waiting to hear his words, to Robert, who was sitting back against his chair. 

"No, you're right." Jed turned back to face Abbey, and reached for her hands. Abbey hesitantly allowed him to do so. 

"Abbey, I admit that our lifelong partnership was damaged when I decided to seek the Presidency. I didn't want you to bear the brunt of my choices. If I had been wrong, I didn't want you to think that you had given me the wrong advice. And afterwards, it never felt the same. I always had someone else to give me advice, even about personal issues. Yes, I made promises to you that I never kept. I just wanted you back in my life. As time progressed, I got less and less comfortable discussing personal decisions with you. Every decision I had to make had some ramification for the Presidency. And I felt I had better advice from others. Again, I didn't want you kicking yourself in case the wrong decision was made. That was the reason for not consulting you before I ran for reelection. But now, I realize that I was doing you a disservice. 

"We had been life partners for many years until I ran for the Presidency and only trusted each other for advice and support. Then, all of a sudden I had people I thought as experts who I paid big bucks to give me advice. I forgot that the best advice came from those who loved me. And you have certainly done that for many, many years. And many decisions since then that should have been made with you, were made without you. There were many reasons, but I never saw how bad I was hurting you. I am so sorry." 

By this time, both Abbey and Jed had tears streaming down their faces. Jed pulled Abbey closer. Before either one knew what was happening, they both leaned in to each to each other for a comforting hug and a kiss. 

They leaned back in their chairs, still holding hands, looking into each others eyes. 

"I let Leo in, but shut you out. I now know how much this has hurt you. You kept trying to regain the partnership, but I never let you. I only led you down the primrose path that was full of thorns. I'm so sorry I have caused this much pain over all these years. Can I have another chance?" 

Abbey looked at him, then at Robert. 

"Tell him exactly what you are feeling." 

Abbey looked back at her husband. 

"Jed, you've made this promise so many other times. How can I believe you mean it this time? I won't stand for another false promise. I can't take it anymore." 

"Fair question. My past behavior doesn't give that promise any support, does it? This time is different because I have seen you in such unbearable pain that it broke my heart apart. Remember, I was the one who found you passed out on your office floor. I was the one who held your bleeding head in my hands on the bathroom floor at the farm. I saw the results of my behavior. They weren't pretty. I have suffered alone for the past month. It wasn't like you were on some trip and expected home any day. I couldn't call. Couldn't come. I didn't know when you were coming home, or if at all. Abbey, you know how I feel when you're not with me. It was the hardest thing I had to do to threaten you in the hospital with our relationship if you didn't seek help. I was kind of surprised by what I said, but I meant it. And I would have carried through with it if you had refused. 

"Even if I have acted like a jerk, I still love you very deeply. From the first moment I laid eyes on you to right now. My feelings have only become more intense over the years. We only have a few more months in Washington. Then it s back to the farm for the rest of our lives. We both will have projects to do, but I promise you we'll do them together, as partners." 

"Jed, I really want to believe you. But part of me says that you're lying again. I need some time to think about what you have said. Let me think about this for a few more days and I'll get back to you." 

"Okay." Jed was disappointed that Abbey wasn't coming home with him tonight. "Abbey, I meant every word." 

"I have to think about it, Jed." They both stood and gave a tight hug to each other. 

"Please come home soon, Abbey. I miss you so much." 

"I just need some more time." 

"I understand." 

Turning to Robert, he shook his hand once again. 

"Thank you very much. I can see that Abbey has every confidence in you." 

"Thank you, sir." 

Jed turned once more to Abbey, kissed her gently on the cheek, and was gone. 


	17. Recovery 17

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 17**

The session had lasted for six strenuous hours. She and Robert then stayed up until one am talking about what was said, how it was said, and what it all meant. Abbey was allowed to sleep in the next morning. 

Abbey struggled with believing Jed. He had made that promise so many times before, and had broken it so easily each time. 

That afternoon, Robert and Abbey got together to discuss the session again. 

"Okay, Abbey, now that you have some distance from the session, how do you think it went?" 

"I think Jed heard me. But there is still a part of me that doesn't believe his promise. He's broken it so many times. I just don't know what to do." 

"Do you think he's sincere?" 

"Yes. He's a very sensitive man and I know that my behavior, especially over the past few weeks before my stroke, really affected him, as he said. And he does not do well when I'm gone. We've always been so connected, so in touch with each other. At least we were until I started blocking him out with pills and alcohol. But he kept trying. He left his office to find me on the bathroom floor, leaving everything to the new Chief of Staff. He said he was coming to confront me. But I obviously was hurting too much to even want him to come. What should I do?" 

"That's your decision, Abbey. If you can trust him again, then you have to give him a chance. If you don't, then you have to separate from him and begin to lead your own life. That's a decision only you can make." 

Abbey sighed. "It's tough." 

"Yes, but only you can make this decision." 

After the session, Abbey took long walks outside. It was one of the first times she had even been outside of the building. Her agent walked a respectful distance behind her. She took these long walks for several days until she reached a decision. 

She located Robert three days after her session with Jed and told him her answer. "Are you sure of this, Abbey?" 

"Yes. I'm very sure." 

"Okay, then we need to call your husband down here to give him your answer. You need to make this call yourself. Do you want me nearby?" 

"No, thanks. I need to start making decisions for myself once again." 

"I'll be here though, in case you need me." 

"I hope I made the right decision, Robert." 

"Only time will tell." 


	18. Recovery 18

**Recovery**

**by:** Babyphd

**Character(s):** Jed, Abbey  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Abbey  
**Category(s):** Drama/Angst   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Sorkin, Wells, NBC and anybody else legally entitled to them. They will be returned when I am finished with them.  
**Summary:** Abbey begins her recovery after a stroke and substance abuse  
**Written:** 2005-3-01  
**Feedback:** Welcomed  
**Author's Note:** Leo is featured as a close friend. CJ is Chief of Staff. This is #2 in the **'Troubled Lives, Troubled Times'** series. 

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Abbey phoned Jed and told him that she needed to see him. She had come to a decision. 

When Jed had asked her what that decision was, Abbey just told him that he would be told when he got there. 

Because of pressing business, Jed couldn't arrive for two days. 

Two agonizing days for both of them. 

Two days in which Abbey continued to worry if she had made the right decision. 

Two days in which Jed wondered if he was going to have a wife again. 

It was two days of hell. 

**** 

His motorcade arrived about seven pm. He was again escorted to the visitation room in which they had their session. 

His anxiety was overwhelming. 

He held his breath as he pushed the door open. 

He saw Abbey first, standing there grinning. Then he noticed she had her packed bag beside her. 

"Abbey, does this mean…" 

The rest of his sentence never came. She rushed into his arms and hugged him with all her might. 

She whispered into his ear, "Yes, Jed, I'm coming home." 

The room exploded with joy from two ecstatic people. 

Two people who had been through fire, but had found their way back. 

Two people who were finally on the way to recovery. 

The End 

Sequel: "It's Not as Easy as it Seems" 


End file.
